Embracing My Gender

I am proud to be a woman.It took me a while to feel that way. When I was small I was impatient with being female, thought it wasn't as good as being male because I wanted to run outside, climb trees, and collect worms without my mother and stepmother shaking their fingers at me and saying, "that's not what girls do."

I was a child in the late '60s and '70s so it was a bit different than today-I wore dresses, knee socks, and had long brown hair that tended to be curly; I didn't like to sit while my mother worked the tangles out of it and I made sure she was aware of my protests, heh heh. I was in dance and wore tu-tus and makeup-I liked dance but not all the trappings of it I certainly didn't like the trappings that went with being a girl!! I did, however, embrace my female side when it came to boys...When I learned how fabulous it is to be female...probably when I was in basic training in the army, an experience that, ironically, put me in touch with what it truly means to be a woman.

To be a woman you have to be strong, stronger than you ever thought possible. To be a woman you have to endure males who challenge your right to be an individual. Too many men fail to understand women, see them in only one context, but we are so much more than that. We are the ones who stand in the face of constant harassment (nowhere is this more true than in the army) and gather the will to rise above it. We rise above a lot.

I was reading some of my daughter's college text book for "history of Chicago", the part about the women of Chicago history during the early 20th century. There were the upper crust types who single handedly created the "magnificant mile" district of Chicago. Without them there would have been no need for a shopping area that is now one of the most famous in the world--because of these high class women with ability to spend money on luxury and new technology meant to make a woman's life easier...the first automated vacuum was sold in Chicago. These women also were among the first to cross the lines of "class" and reach down to give a hand up to their lower class sisters...they were very active in the creation of a settlement house designed to bring education, culture, and even cleanliness to the poor-Hull House-and most Chicago women of the upper classes were instrumental in cleaning up the city, which went a long way towards improving the lives of the working class-Then to read about working class women-

Until the city was cleaned up and ordnances created to ensure safe working conditions and living quarters, they were pretty much treated like throw-aways! There was often no plumbing or electricity in the homes or sweat-shop type establishments where most Chicago women had to work; over half of Chicago's working class were immigrants whose husbands would wander into saloons at the end of a workday, spending wages and sometimes never making it home. Many wamen from slum areas were forced into single motherhood before the term was coined. They had to work in factorys and sweat shops while they still maintained the home for their children; it was a nonstop working life full of backbreaking labor and practically no time for entertainment or frivolity of any kind.

These women, however, did what they had to do to grow their children up the best way they knew how; they didn't have the time or energy to complain about "no alone time" or "lack of ME time." They probably wouldn't have known what that was. Wow.Women like that make me proud to be one of them. They also remind me of just how strong we truly are, all of us. We are the caretakers, the nurturers, the people who learn how to "make do" and sacrifice...and we should never, ever forget who we are:Deserving of respect.

We have the right to own our bodies and say "yes" or "no" as we see fit. We have the right to expect proper treatment and then get it. We need to expect appreciation for everything we do from our spouses, significant others, children. We have to remember our value as women and be proud of every single aspect that entails-the women of tomorrow are watching the women of today: what are we teaching them about their worth? Don't settle for less than you deserve. Ever.